who am i? who are u?

i love the way the day started today.:)

had a wonderful time in sherrie’s mama’s stall. it is really touching seeing how loving her parents are. those gestures, smiles and nods are the sweet returns of being in love that many years.

both parents are deaf. yet, sherrie being sherrie is such a brilliantly sweet girl. it was a weird way to get to know each other. both of us were in cameronan inn for different reason. yet, fate has it that we meet and become fast friends.

what i’m very sure is, it takes alot of tolerance, determination and patience to raise a family, face the society and stand strong in their faith. and yet, they still strive on and succeed. while having forgotten to give them the ability of listening, god must have given them extra dose of courage and faith.

who are u? what is your imperfection? and what is your strength?

 

the thing that i hate

if there is one feeling that i really really hate – anticipation.

it is the feeling of not knowing.
not knowing what will happen, what do you want… and not knowing anything WHICH INVOLVES YOU.

i dun like today.

you have to wait

dear darling yuki,
really really miss you. and sometimes, i feel that missing a person is d most tormenting feeling god has ever created.
be good, dear.

People should stop hurting people

Yuki darling,
I’m startled and upset actually. Someone whom i’ve started to care is playing disappearing act on me. It is that obvious. i observe it and i feel it. Yup, it definitely hurts.

He wasn’t that close to me initially. Then, we chose to be. I thought we were supposed to care for each other. After all, there is more than what is being seen. Then, he started disappearing whenever i appear. Then.. and more then and more more then.

I felt it is only appropriate to let him know that, enough. really, enough. i should not need him again. i didn’t need him for the last 27 years, after all. And why should i need him now?

I might not be as good as him in the “people” department. Heck, I discard people every now and then. i don’t have the quantity, but at least, those who stay around are those whom i’ve no doubt about their sincerity and love.

Too bad. My luck.
i miss u.

The Day The Dog Bit You

My Darling Yuki,

So, you had ur ugly day as early as today.

I am really sorry and i understand that it is painful. However, i must say that i am very very happy that you are such a big girl already, not fussing abt the biting. It is ok. DaJiu also got bitten, and do you think DaJiu cried?

YiYi was bitten by a dog when i was 9 years old. It was worse than yours as I was bleeding. I got a shot too for that. And i am your YiYi today. So, seriously, no big deal, just an experience, alrite?

YiYi is so proud of u. Seriously. Have a good nite sleep.

Love,
YiYi

i feel peaceful

it is weird how seeing u seems to take away all d issues, be it temporarily or PERMANENTLY. u r extra lovely today by allowing me to feel ur warmth n ur love. indeed, i yearn for that for so long. thx, i love you. v v much.

Depression

My darling Yuki,

This is a holiday without you. It is me.
YiYi walked into borders 4 times these two weeks, needing a soul-soothing book very very much. Yet, till last nite, i couldn’t get what i want. I got panicked. I fear the arrival of the day where i couldn’t handle myself.

And, it is here.

I need to be your YiYi and I want to be there for ethan too.
But for now, i need to do this myself.
I need to let go.
I really need to.

Counting my blessing

My darling Yuki,

Indeed, today is indeed a nostalgic day for YiYi. I did something pretty absurd, yet finding the results more than satisfying.

YiYi has never been the kind of people to keep in touch. It is one of my many weaknesses. And i think many a times, i was one of those never-mind-next-time mentality. so a day becomes a month becomes a year… and many many years.

YiYi met up with an Uncle Chantze for lunch. He is my uni friend. He is doing really well now and YiYi is really happy for him. Long time ago, we shared a very complicated story whereby i was one of the most irritating and rebellious soul in his life. I think it was for 2 years. It was funny, thinking about it now. Things that matters long time ago seems so myopic now. That 2 years with him around was indeed a memory that i wouldn’t trade.

Then YiYi met up with Uncle Garkit. YiYi hasn’t met up with him for 17 years. I know, i know. But at least, i did it today, din’t i? Uncle Garkit was my swimmate and we are family friends, strictly speaking. We lost touch for that many years that i wasn’t informed when his dad passed away 6 years ago. My mistake as a friend, i acknowledge that. p/s: he is still that delicious anyway. HIHI!

I guess, catching up is pretty nice. Especially when life is pretty suffocating now. The presence of these people made previous path much easier. And their presence NOW serves as a tinkle that, everything will be fine eventually. it was this tough previously and i survived. So why not this time?

YiYi will be fine. At least, YiYi will try to be fine.

Lucky

Dear Yuki,
Counting my blessing. sharing this lyrics with u.
Love,
YiYi

Do you hear me,
I’m talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky, oh my, baby I’m trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I’m lucky I’m in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

They don’t know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I’ll wait for you I promise you, I will

I’m lucky I’m in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we’re in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I’m sailing through the sea
To an island where we’ll meet
You’ll hear the music fill the air
I’ll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you’re all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I’m lucky I’m in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I’m lucky we’re in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

I am not supposed to bitch abt this

but why does he need to have an affair? why can’t he just apply for a divorce and be done with it before starting a new one? doesn’t he realise the significance between being caught and legally openly dating? i shut….